To say we’re living in uncertain times would be an understatement. Every day, it seems like there are new things to be worried about. Things are scary, from climate change to gun violence to social unrest to damaging political choices. As a result, some people have adopted the mindset that it’s not a good time to bring a child into the world. Some go so far as to call it selfish.
However, choosing to have a baby is up to you, no matter what. It is important, however, to find peace of mind with whatever decision you choose. You can enjoy parenthood while keeping your little one safe by utilizing a few tips and tricks to calm your mind and feel more confident about your decision.
So, how can you have children when the world is so violent?
Weighing the Pros and Cons
If you have anxiety about bringing a child into the world, one of the first things you should do is consider the pros and cons. If it’s truly your desire to have a child, it might feel like that should matter the most.
However, are you in a financially secure position? Do you live in a safe area, or are you able to move somewhere? What are school systems like? Is your relationship stable?
Obviously, the answers to these questions don’t have to determine whether you have a child. Life can change in an instant, and the love and compassion you have for a little one means more than anything. However, these are important considerations. If you don’t have enough money to feed or dress your child, your anxiety will worsen. If you’re in an unstable relationship, you could be putting yourself and your baby at risk. While weighing pros and cons might seem a bit cold at first, doing so gives you time to pause and think your decision through.
Putting Precautions in Place
If you’re determined to have children, it’s essential to understand that you won’t be able to protect them from everything. No one can live in a bubble. No matter how much you try to shield your child, things can happen, and sometimes those experiences are tragic or traumatic.
However, you can give yourself peace of mind by putting a few precautions in place. Consider moving to a statistically safe community. Try homeschooling or sending your child to a private school. Educate them using age-appropriate language about how to stay safe in different situations. While you can’t protect them from everything, you can do your part to help them stay safe in a violent world.
Hope for the Future
Again, some people don’t think it’s fair to have children, considering the state of the world right now. However, the next generation is the one that could really make a difference. We could be stuck in this rut forever if people didn’t have kids. Children have an opportunity to change the world. The next generation will greatly impact climate change and the environment, as well as social justice and equality. Those will always be scary things to stand up to and fight for. But your child could be the one to do it. The next generation can create a more hopeful, positive future and turn this violent world into something more peaceful.
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Having children is a very personal decision. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion influence whether you bring a little one into this world. Instead, focus on your beliefs, willingness to put in the work, and the hope your child could bring for the future.
If your anxiety is getting the best of you, feel free to contact me to work through those feelings together.
Jennifer Perera is a mom of two boys, a spouse and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She is also Certified as a Perinatal Mental Health Professional by Postpartum Support International. She has a private practice in Springfield, New Jersey and also sees clients throughout New Jersey via telehealth. Her passion is helping new moms and dads find their joy again in parenthood through individual and couples counseling. She also runs workshops for new parents, teaching them techniques and strategies to help them have a stronger relationship - built to thrive during the parenthood years. Jennifer specializes in working with parents during the prenatal and postpartum periods and those coping with grief or loss issues surrounding pregnancy.