Couples counseling can be a great way to strengthen your relationship. It helps with communication issues, improves intimacy, and can make it easier to understand your partner.
Unfortunately, there are some common myths about couples counseling that sometimes keep people from going — even if they could benefit from it.
Debunking some of these myths can help you better understand what to expect from this type of counseling and how it can positively impact your relationship. Let’s cover a few myths and misconceptions about couples counseling so you can determine if it’s the right move for you and your partner.
1. Your Relationship Has to Be in Trouble
One of the most common misconceptions about couples counseling is that you need to wait until your relationship has hit rock bottom for it to be effective.
While counseling can absolutely help you work through potential issues, you don’t have to wait for a problem to arise to benefit from it. Again, couples counseling can improve communication and help you establish a better understanding of your partner. You can use it as a sort of maintenance tool or a way to grow together.
2. A Therapist Will Favor One Person Over Another
Some people avoid couples counseling because they believe their counselor will be biased. They might worry about getting attacked or ganged up on.
Counselors are specially trained to remain unbiased as they work with couples. You should have a sense of trust and safety during each session. There might be times when the counselor agrees with you and times when they agree with your partner. But, a good counselor will never take sides.
3. It Won’t Work
There’s no guarantee that couples therapy will “fix” all of the issues you have in your relationship. It’s designed to teach you and your partner strategies you can use to connect on a deeper level.
But, there are many factors that can come into play in determining how successful your experience might be. Couples therapy isn’t meant to be a “quick fix,” but if you and your partner are both committed to the process, you’re likely to see positive changes in your relationship.
4. It’s Only for Married Couples
Couples counseling is for all couples, whether you’ve been dating for a few months or 20 years. Counselors train to be able to work with couples of all different backgrounds and situations. You can enjoy the same benefits from counseling as a married couple would. The process itself isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Your counselor will work with you to determine a strategy that best fits your specific relationship.
5. Couples Therapy is For the Weak
Some people tend to stigmatize almost anything to do with mental health. They see counseling or therapy as a sign of weakness. With that mindset, they might also think that couples therapy is unnecessary, or that there’s no way a stranger could possibly understand anything about their relationship.
If you feel that you should be able to fix your relationship issues and build trust and intimacy on your own, you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself and your partner. Every relationship is unique, and it can sometimes take a trained outside perspective to foster a deeper understanding between two people.
Unfortunately, there are many more myths about couples counseling. Hopefully, by debunking at least a few of them, you have a better idea of what this type of counseling can really do for your relationship, no matter what stage you’re in.
If you want to learn more or you’re ready to set up an appointment, contact me today with any questions or concerns.
Jennifer Perera is a mom of two boys, a spouse and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. She is also Certified as a Perinatal Mental Health Professional by Postpartum Support International. She has a private practice in Springfield, New Jersey and also sees clients throughout New York, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Florida, and Illinois via telehealth. Her passion is helping new moms and dads find their joy again in parenthood through individual and couples counseling. She also runs workshops for new parents, teaching them techniques and strategies to help them have a stronger relationship - built to thrive during the parenthood years. Jennifer specializes in working with parents during the prenatal and postpartum periods and those coping with grief or loss issues surrounding pregnancy.
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